Live From Greater Israel

Teddy Hurts And Emotional Support Fries "Live From Greater Israel" (2025)

Produced By Randy Prozac

Live From Greater Israel

live! from greater israel
it's teddy hurts and emotional support fries!

hey, thank you.. now before we begin the big show we have to do the land acknowledgment
and we have a very special guest who will be doing this for you all tonight
now, he was the product of geriatric incest but there will be no shame in that here tonight
let's all give a proud welcome to big chief acdc fly on the lysol

shut up whitey.. ok.. this album was recorded on land where no one lived
no one but some nomadic tribes that spent their time killing each other
now it is a place where whitey cuts their own dicks off
they love us injuns as long as we don't live anywhere near 'em

yeah, but they'll give us free money to make themselves feel better
there's lots of those types on your city councils
so remind 'em to give us money
give us money for all them unmarked graves that they keep popping up
anyway, gonna go huff gorilla glue now..

all right.. thank you chief
now we can officially start the show

our first guest is mr. kalergi, who is the finest ventriloquist in all of greater israel
take a sock off and enjoy the antics of mr. kalergi and his friend, little goyim

mr. kalergi, what is the greatest nation to ever exist in the entire history of the planet?

the greatest nation to ever exist in the history of the planet, little goyim?
why, israel is the greatest nation..
all G-d's chosen heroes who shine like stars in the blackness of the eternal night
they all come from israel

from schumer to schiff to bourla
to mayorkas to blinken to garland
to epstein to feinstein to norm eisen
to andrew weissman to janet yellen blumenthal
to scott wiener to bob iger
to chris wallace to paul singer
to debbie wasserman-schulz to saul alinsky
to elena kagan to jeffrey toobin
to sarah silverman to rahm emanuel
to paul wolfowitz to wolf blitzer
to michael chertoff to victoria nuland
to john kerry-kohn and so many more
with a special shoutout to dov zakheim and miriam adelson

mr. kalergi, tell us about epstein

there's no reason to talk about epstein, little goyim
epstein did no wrong, he is a good man
a hero from the greatest nation to ever exist in the history of the planet
now move along.. focus on your black studies

thank you mr. kalergi.. a tribute to the heroes of zion
next our feature guests, teddy hurts and emotional support fries
here to play songs from their brand new album
the first song they will perform is a traditional song of greater israel
except it has been brought into the now times
this finest of songs is titled "the high priest of cunt mucus"

The High Priest Of Cunt Mucus

i am the high priest of cunt mucus
a slimy snake and i'm dripping with pus
i smell like i taste like hospital waste
and i'm oozing my juices all over the place

i'm a constantly decaying urban slum
a re-routed bile duct of fecal scum
a butter gerbil screw digging into your colon
on mind-altering drugs with double castration

i have two penises, just so you know
a smaller latent penis sticks out like a mole
i squeeze its drippings into what you eat
and my fingers aren't made from breast meat

wasn't that a great song everybody? now that was a great song
yeah.. oh yeah.. that's it, yes we have it
we got 'em on the inside tonight, i'm a guarantee it, yes sir
let that baby cry if it wants to, yes ma'am, i'll tell ya, alright
and now, it's time for some more laughs from your favorite indigenous comic
big chief acdc fly on the lysol

wef faggot carney has a brigette macron man wife
like one of them egyptian corpses, but with tits
easier to get fent in canada than fresh farm milk
no more jobs or housing for you whitey
ok, we need your support.. they found more mass graves a few minutes ago

thank you chief.. i laughed so hard i took a sock off
next we have another special song
a brand new song from the teddy hurts and emotional support fries album
this song is titled, "getting it on with a butchered piece of my forearm"

Getting It On With A Butchered Piece Of My Forearm

i'm getting it on
i'm getting it on
i'm getting it on
with a butchered piece
of my forearm

i'm getting it off
i'm getting it off
i'm getting it off
with a butchered piece
of my forearm

he's getting it on
he's getting it on
he's getting it on
with a butchered piece
of his forearm

now that was a fantastic song.. thank you very much
this is one of my favorite parts of the show
from the always prescient oracle, the mysterious dr. shillman
he is here to provide foreshadows into your own futures

now, the mysterious dr. shillman claims this all came to him in the form of automatic writing
that is to say, it is a kind of divination from the beyond world
and so, he has titled this writing, "the cat food clock" and here it is
the mysterious dr. shillman..

The Cat Food Clock

the cat food clock is always running
ticking away under the muzak
meat prices have been climbing
like junkyard dogs up a chain-link fence

a hamburger pretending to be a hotdog
or a hotdog with severe identity issues
pacing the aisles like a man with a crumpled shopping list
and a head full of bad math

smell it in the fluorescent hum
of the supermarket freezer
one day it's steak vs. hamburger
then it's hamburger vs. hotdogs

and then
you're eyeing that can of whiskas
and thinking
well, it's high in protein

but we're not there yet
we're somewhere in the hotdog stage
still laughing
still human

still riding the cart
down the cereal aisle
like a lunatic at 2 a.m.
but the cat food clock is always running
always ticking away

that was amazing, mysterious dr. shillman, incredible.. i believe every word
and now, once again, we have mr. kalergi and his friend little goyim

mr. kalergi, tell us about palestine

palestine? why would you want to know about that filthy place?
let me tell you, little goyim..
all the babies in that foul sewer are born from doggy-style sex
and all of them are born squint-eyed

squint-eyed, mr. kalergi? you mean like me?

yes, little goyim, just like you
but do not worry about any of that.. go on little goyim.. take a sock off

really mr. kalergi? oh, thank you mr. kalergi, thank you!

alright everyone, let's all say a prayer to yhwh that friendly little goyim gets healed from his penis cancer
as a gratitude, mr. kalergi brought candybars for every child in the audience tonight
candybars made from the sweetest chocolate in all of greater israel

and now it is time for another song from teddy hurts and emotional support fries
it is a relatable song that can inspire anyone who hears it
it is a song titled, "macromastia flashdance" and here it is..

Macromastia Flashdance

it's getting too hot
too hot to trot
it's getting to hot to trot

her one eye had the look of hope
you'd see in the eye of a child

that was just handed some candy
from an unmarked white van

her other eye had the look
of a bug splattered on a windshield

and they didn't give her
any dipping sauces
for her tender little timbits

it's getting too hot
too hot to trot
it's getting to hot to trot

i'm justin trudeau and i approve this message, thank you

now that was something to think about, wasn't it folks?
you can talk about that tomorrow with your co-workers
tell 'em about it because of course they'd wanna know

alright, let's check in on mr. kalergi and his best friend, little goyim
what must they be doing by now?

mr. kalergi, can you tell us your favorite color?

my favorite color, little goyim?
my favorite color is brown
lots of my favorite things are brown

i'm brown mr. kalergi, and i'm proud! i'm proud to be brown!

as you should be, little goyim
maybe you could sing a song about it?

yeah! i could sing a song about it
and that is what i will do right now

Proud To Be Brown

i'm proud to be brown
i'm proud proud proud proud
to be brown i'm proud
to be brown

i'm proud proud proud proud
to be brown i'm proud
to be brown

i'm proud to be brown
i'm proud proud proud proud
to be brown i'm proud
to be brown

he's proud to be brown
he's proud to be brown
he's proud proud proud proud
to be brown he's proud
to be brown

that was just right, little goyim
now everyone can be proud to be brown

oh good, mr. kalergi.. now i am feeling happy

i know you are, little goyim
and because you are feeling so happy
i think it is time to take a sock off..

really mr. kalergi? oh i was hoping it would be time to do that

that was a very touching moment, wasn't it folks?
i'm getting all glassy-eyed thinking about that
alright, now we have a prime zion poet from the river to the seas of greater israel
please give a big welcome to the beat off poetry of howie rubin

Meat Gods Of Rostizado

i was born in the blackened film clinging to the undersides of prep tables
a bucket of beef left to rot beside the broken freezer
convulsing in the background playing with myself flesh raped in corn and fat
screaming racial slurs while taco grease drips down my chest

shirtless again smeared in shit and nose bleeding from excessive cocaine abuse
drinking out of a broken condom deep inside the taco shell something blinked
like a placenta left on a radiator i tasted it then used a cattle prod on its vagina
in my taco shop the walls bleed and the fryer screams

i stagger through the kitchen with my apron soaked in piss
one hand down my pants gripping my cock like a scepter
i pinch the waitresses as they passed whispering "you want a raise, don't you?"
while sucking snot back into my throat then the waste arrived

unmarked bags bleeding from the back of a white van with hospital tags still attached
i signed for them with a fake name and dragged the bags in laughing
sweating high on cheap cocaine and sewer wine the smell was unbearable
inside was medical slop blood clots catheter tubing amputated breasts

"rostizado" i whispered my eyes were glowing as i snorted death dream dust
i began feeding the customers raw hospital waste still cold slick with congealed clots veins like yarn
the foodies came they posed they instagrammed as the meat bled down their wrists
i mumbled "they're eating it.. they're eating it.. G-d is real.. G-d is meat"

as they chewed and gagged i jerked off behind the counter
a woman tried to scream after her burrito opened like a blooming flower and whispered her childhood traumas
i was about to beat her so badly that her breast implants flipped when the fryer exploded
the oil ignited my apron.. i slipped on a cockroach slicked tile and slammed my head against the stone countertop

i lay on the infested floor neck broken as boiling grease poured down onto my head erasing my face
the grease hissed like language my dignity was somewhere in the plugged toilet
then that waitress twenty years old and dead behind the eyes with swollen sacks of sour slop that stank like rot
she flashed her tits as cockroaches began gathering and sucking my schwitz

we must fight the fascist system
this message has been sponsored by verizon

now that was very meaningful, wasn't it folks? howie rubin, he's good people
alright, well anything goes at the teddy hurts show of course and i'll tell ya
for the price of one thin dime is all you got is what you get for one thin dime

so the next song is once again from teddy hurts and emotional support fries hot new album
this is one you're going to like, folks..

Rape Trees Filled With Underwear

plug me back into the matrix
i don't want to remember anything
i want to unsee what i have seen
i want to unknow what i now know

data centres built on ley lines
gaytheist happiness pills of lies
shelter in peace and skelter in place
comet hale bopp all over your face

rape trees filled with underwear
of women coyotes assaulted

what do you say, folks? teddy hurts and emotional support fries
alright! now let's lift up our skirts together
and have a little peek at what mr. kalergi and little goyim is doing

the dead people in palestine make the grass of greater israel glow greener

a hole in one is for zion's sun, right mr. kalergi?

yes, little goyim.. for they were only talking animals
and their G-d was an abomination with the body of a dog and the head of a man
born of sex with jackals and dirt
now you can hear their spirits in the songs of the birds in greater israel

they must have been very happy, mr. kalergi
especially if they were singing

as the sun of zion shines down from above
it is then that you know that this place is paradise

oh, that sounds so wonderful, mr. kalergi.. i love zog!

ok folks, it is time now for the show to take a moment to reflect upon what we are all up against
and we have some of that filthy hamas music
that is coming out of that open sewer over there
and let me tell you folks.. this is some nasty stuff you're gonna be hearing
but you need to be hearing it knowing that greater israel will be cleaning up that ugly mess
it is long overdue and once it has been cleansed then the light of zion will shine down forever more
now pay close attention folks.. feel the filth of a twenty mohammed rape rap

Twenty Mohammed Rape Rap

smelly meat
smell so sweet
smelly greasy
fat and yeast

big donair
girly cower
puncturing
like plane in tower

sexy sauce
staining sheet
beat the meat
to the hadith

did you hear that, folks? disgusting.. but have faith.. zion will prevail
oh, we need some laughs after that dirty trash
big chief acdc fly on the lysol just got back from the pow wow
and he brought a teepee full of some new jokes just for you

canada should go back to china
they gotta use us injuns and other so-called "marginalized groups" to dismantle and fracture whitey society
they gonna give us free shit but in the end we all will be crushed under the boot

i want to remind everyone that you already lost this war
when 70% of your people volunteered for a bioweapon

i have a dream that someday people will be judged by the content of their character
and not the color of their skin.. just kidding

that was hilarious chief, some real zingers in there for the audience to contemplate
alright, this next song is another new one from the teddy hurts and emotional support fries
teddy says this one is titled, "sardine pose" and it is also sponsored by monsanto and bayer
both good friends of greater israel

Sardine Pose

oracle, stargate, inannu
warpspeed, syngenta, ashteroth

george bush senior
ate jfk's brain
in upper israel
formerly ukraine

jesus is on grindr
at united nations
declaring children's right
to masturbation

grayish non-toxic
gelatinous goo
plasticine genitals
and bug covered cute

cattle faces
suck in swallow
lost in codeworld
cost of hollow

banks, politicians, big corporations
larry stink and blackrot

teddy hurts everybody! that was a good one, it was a sort of musical schmaltz
it makes me want to strangle a chicken and pass my sins into it
speaking of that, it's time once again to see what mr. kalergi and little goyim have been gotten themselves into

only terrorists love palestine, little goyim

they hate me, mr. kalergi
is it because i am LGBT?

yes, little goyim.. they hate you for being a true child of zion
they would throw you off the tallest building they could find
but now there is no tallest building or any buildings at all
now there is only the perfect bliss of greater israel resting in all its beauty

that's good news, mr. kalergi.. i like being a sodomite in israel

i know you do, little goyim.. and that is your right

i'm not a talking animal, mr. kalergi.. i am a true child of zion

that's right, and stay good with zion or you'll end up as the 73rd virgin and you don't want that to happen
you don't want to be like the bitter looking yeasty old women with nothing better to do than die

talking animals, folks.. we know who those ones are, yes indeed
they are the ones that scorn our best friend, donald trump
this next song is a depiction of the talking animals
as presented by teddy hurts and emotional support fries it is titled, "hatreds pencil"
hold onto your kippah's folks.. this is bound to be harrowing

Hatreds Pencil

we are on our journey to the land of no trump
a place where everything is good, where everything is perfect and we live in peace
and now we're here.. we have arrived.. to the land of no trump

finally.. we are home.. the sound of children playing, neighbors laughing
the smell of fresh baked bread fills the air, pumpkin pie and sunday dinners
this is a place where nothing bad would ever happen because this is the land of no trump

but wait.. what is that..
no.. no.. it cannot be..
it's... it's trump!
he is here.. how?? how??
nooooooo

no
no trump
no
no trump

no
no
no
trump

nazi
nazi
nazi

see? aren't you glad you came to the show?
alright, now finally we have a very special guest to close out the show
a man who is not afraid to depict his self as one of the sacred negro
a best friend of greater israel.. justin trudeau

thank you very much, i'm so happy to be here with you all
in the greatest nation to ever exist in the history of the planet
i wrote this song for all the children in the world
it's a special song called "in the soylent dream" and i will sing it for you now

In The Soylent Dream

in the soylent dream tonight
guided by the black sun
in darkness we find light
in the soylent dream tonight

where sarcopods are humming
just focus on the screen
sleep embrace the cold black hole
rest your head let death unfold

the sarcopods of springtime
in the soylent dream
feel the black enclosing
with a silent scream

then the machine will flush you
your ashes down the drain
the government cremated you
now not a trace remains

through veils of endless night
the sarcopods are humming
as bodies drain of life
in the soylent dream tonight

you don't need parents permission
to die in a machine
just ask your favorite teacher
they'll make sure they can't intervene

your problems long forgotten
no longer in despair
just push the little button
erase this whole nightmare

sleep now little precious one
breathe the nitrogen stream
drowning deathly all alone
in the soylent dream