Promiscuous Ovaries Drenched With Cancer "Tales From The Wayfair Cabinet" (2021)

Produced By Randy Prozac

Promiscuous Ovaries

this is the tale of suzie screw
a braindead slut from dumpster view
she liked to ride on the skin canoe
she always was a freespirit too

now, suzie would spread for any guy
and she always had those bruises on her thighs
just ring her bell or swing on by
she's always having a fish fry

promiscuous ovaries

she's mentally challenged and her eyes are crossed
a very low iq with a mouth full of cock
get her drunk, she'll always get you off
bring your friends and get their salad's tossed

suzie's house has a revolving door
cuz everyone loves that retarded whore
she can't get enough and she always wants more
she's got more screws than a hardware store

promiscuous ovaries

one day suzie, she felt like shit
she started bleeding from the ol' cockpit
swollen up like a baseball mitt
hot and runny like banana split

she went to the doctor to find the answer
doctor said she had too much pleasure
she always wanted to be a dancer
but she died of fuckhole cancer

promiscuous ovaries drenched with cancer
promiscuous ovaries drenched with cancer
promiscuous ovaries drenched with cancer

-----

yep, suzie was always talking when she should have been listening.
now see what she gone and done? now whose fault is that?
therein lay the rub. life goes on.

A Hot Rockin' Hysterectomy

saggy just got back from the beauty salon
but she still looks like dogshit on a lawn
she might have been pretty once upon a time
but now she looks like a loaf of bread with eyes

saggy's middle name is sloppy seconds
she wasn't smart enough to learn her lessons
she struts around in her cum stained dresses
spreading her legs is her only self expression

hear the garbage cans rattle in the slums
saggy's having sex with indigenous bums
a down syndrome potato with a swollen tongue
the first one's done here comes the second one

it just so happens to be her birthday
standing in the cold beside the expressway
a truckdriver stops, she's on her merry way
she snorts some heroin and she fades away

she wakes up locked inside a broken fridge
hot and suffocating, dark as the abyss
no room to move, she's having spastic fits
the sound of her screams then she hears a click

the door swings open and she thinks she's free
but soon she sees the grim reality
as she's penetrated by a machete
it's a hot rockin' hysterectomy

but you know that's not all, it's her birthday
she also gets a well-deserved mastectomy
and now she's a quadruple amputee
and the icing on the cake was the lobotomy

he dumped her off on the side of the road
he didn't even stop, he just kinda slowed
she lay there screaming in the freezing snow
before he left he made her give him a blow

saggy was a fighter, she wouldn't let him win
she wriggled up the embankment like a conjoined twin
hypothermia from the winds overhead
she didn't feel the bus run over her head

-----

poor saggy.. what an adventure she had.
coroner said she remained that way for another three days
after she got her head run over. imagine that.
feeling the ants eatin' yer thoughts as yer thinkin' what yer thinkin'.
hope that don't happen to you or someone you care about.

Mudshark Sally

oh, mudshark sally
flushed it all down the drain
oh, mudshark sally

like a tin of old sardines
she stuffed her hole since she was thirteen

mudshark sally
swallows cumshots in the alley

pass her around to the blm guys
rawdogged in the dumpster behind popeyes

mudshark sally
she'll do it all gladly

sally and her kids live in the chicken coops
blowjobs for meth at the basketball hoops

mudshark sally
can't keep a baby daddy

sally don't remember
how much she been swapped
give her some shooters
off comes the halter top

mudshark sally
passed out in the alley

she made her kids kraft dinner
for the third time today
with cockroach legs and mouse turds
she smells like an ashtray

mudshark sally
no need to feel sadly

they found her strangled
with her own shoelace
in the landfill, inside a suitcase

mudshark sally
her face all smelly
dead baby in her belly

mudshark sally
she just faded away
forgotten tagteams
from tyrone and rayray

mudshark sally
mudshark sally

-----

yup, she had to learn the hard way.. and sometimes that's the only way.
that's what happens when you wander off and not listenin'.
at least walmart made some money. that's better than nothin' right?
better than nothin'.

Electric Jellyfish Drug Scarecrow

here comes rayray walking down the street
bathsalts in his mouth taste bitter sweet
he's going to bitchface to get some meat
tyrone's leftovers, no need to reheat

bathsalts hitting him as he goes
he shouldn't have taken that double dose
bitches are laughing, them fuckin' lesbos
he feels the boogaloo coming out his elbows

electric jellyfish drug scarecrow
demon possessed flakka embryo
he is a jogging one-man freakshow
nothing can stop him 'cept a bullet to the dome

he can't resist the chemical voodoo
put his fist through the plate glass at A&W
he's foaming at the mouth, screaming at the workers
they're pelting him with fries and teenburgers

he ain't putting up with that shit
he carrys on walking to the stupid bitch
he walks into a 7-eleven
he wants a four loko in watermelon

he looks at the cans but they're all melting
and he can't control the boogalooing
everyone there is stopped and staring
he can't stop convulsing, he can't stop sweating

electric jellyfish drug scarecrow
demon possessed flakka embryo
he is a jogging one-man freakshow
nothing can stop him 'cept a bullet to the dome

faggot pussy tells him not to loiter
or he'll report him to his employer
he shoved his face into the hotdog broiler
until it looked like a deep-fried oyster

then he boogaloo'd back out the door
bathsalts hitting stronger than before
he still had to go see the stupid cunt
she was waiting to get her taco stuffed

almost there, just a little further
tyrone/rayray double cheeseburger
baby mama bitch with a mental disorder
two snorts short of his cocaine order

he's almost at the door, he hears the kids crying
the bathsalts are intensifying
can't stop jiggin' and his blood is frying
feels like his brain is solidifying

electric jellyfish drug scarecrow
demon possessed flakka embryo
he is a jogging one-man freakshow
nothing can stop him 'cept a bullet to the dome

----

i wish you coulda seen ol' rayray that day.
it was a sight to behold. i've seen some strange things in my time
but that was something entirely different.
those of you who ever been to a rat killin' know what i'm talkin' about.
if you never been to a rat killin' everybody then you need to go.
cuz not only do you have a good time but those rats need killin'.

Night Of The Blackened Tenders

maxi liked to party, she's a total ho
a pill popping mother of three mulatto's
taxpayers support and pay her bills
passed out on the couch while the kids eat her pills

spent the EBT on drugs and booze
riding tyrone's cock while the kids cry for food
rayray shows up and he's high on bathsalts
he's come to get some of that baby mama cunt

maxi got pregnant from sayeed or tyrone
they beat her in the gut 'til she shat it down the bowl
rayray's tweaking hard and punching her around
one of her kids is foaming at the mouth

tyrone's cracking up, it's how he gets his thrills
he fed her kids his prescription boner pills
maxi takes her bra off and yells, "party time!"
then she trips and falls backwards down the stairs, breaking her spine

rayray's really fucked up, he's seeing triplicate
his eyes are blood red and he's covered in sweat
he peels off his adidas and slithers down the stairs
and bit off her face, that botox really tears

he keeps on going until skeleton face
both of them were screaming so tyrone turned up the bass
he went and got a gas can from the trunk of the car
and dumped it on them both and set them on fire

maxi got pregnant from sayeed or tyrone
they beat her in the gut 'til she shat it down the bowl
rayray's tweaking hard and punching her around
one of her kids is foaming at the mouth

tyrone's cracking up, it's how he gets his thrills
he fed her kids his prescription boner pills
maxi takes her bra off and yells, "party time!"
then she trips and falls backwards down the stairs, breaking her spine

tyrone's watching tv when he heard a sound
it couldn't be those kids, in the tub they were drowned
maybe he imagined it, falling for that jive
then he saw something moving out the corner of his eye

the black crispy shape smelled like burnt popeyes
it was rayray! he was still alive!
rayray couldn't see cuz he didn't have any eyes
tyrone offered him the rest of his fries

the pitbull woke up and was visibly upset
and began growling at the half-dead human briquette
and then it attacked in a full-on rage
it tore open the skull but there wasn't a brain

-----

rayray had comin' to him what he had comin' to him.
he got what he deserved cuz he earned it.
ain't no ones problem no more. washed hands under the bridge.
so it goes..

I'm The Floyd

uh oh, tyrone thinks he's floyd again..

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

the mega-corporations
are backing me
that's not a fuckin' movement
and you don't even see

you're a pawn in their agenda
in exploiting me
so fuck blm
they're just stealing money

that fist you raise
ain't in my name
it's the fist they'll fuck you with
through the rich man's game

divide and conquer
it's the same old shit
you're just helping them kneel
on all our necks

black lives matter
you believe that shit?
you're just another puppet
of the government

but you're too stupid
to see that shit
the frankfurt media
gaslighting my dick

black lives matter
don't mean shit to me
they use my name
for power and money

they say my name
but they don't care about blacks
they won't say the name
of the goldman banks

say the name of the bilderberg ranks
say the name of the tavistock think tanks
say the name of the un pacs
club of rome, we're under attack

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

the mega-corporations
are backing me
that's not a fuckin' movement
and you don't even see

you're a pawn in their agenda
in exploiting me
so fuck blm
they're just stealing money

that fist you raise
ain't in my name
it's the fist they'll fuck you with
through the rich man's game

well, fuck you mutherfuckers
that virtue signal about me
i don't need your
pretentious sympathy

preach about justice
in the kangaroo court
did you see the equality
in the coroner's report?

systemic racism
is a communist writ
and that forced equality
is total shit

you been suckered
now you beat my meat
but i'm the floyd
not your buckwheat

i was a dumb fuck
now i'm the racists saint
i'm the ronald mcdonald
of the communist state

pushing the agenda
of the technocrat elite
stop painting that name
on the street

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

the mega-corporations
are backing me
that's not a fuckin' movement
and you don't even see

you're a pawn in their agenda
in exploiting me
so fuck blm
they're just stealing money

that fist you raise
ain't in my name
it's the fist they'll fuck you with
through the rich man's game

divide and conquer
it's the same old shit
you're just helping them kneel
on all our necks

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

the mega-corporations
are backing me
that's not a fuckin' movement
and you don't even see

you're a pawn in their agenda
in exploiting me
so fuck blm
they're just stealing money

that fist you raise
ain't in my name
it's the fist they'll fuck you with
through the rich man's game

divide and conquer
it's the same old shit
you're just helping them kneel
on all our necks

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

i'm the floyd
the poster boy
black lives matter
should be destroyed

-----

now you see.. sometimes tyrone gets carried away with himself.
but don't misunderstand..
he weren't takin' the floyd's name in vain or nothin'. he wouldn't do that.
he just took too much fentanyl and it gets him all uppity.

Meth Mouth Double Suck

slutty had three kids named E, B and T
they all had hepatitis c
same old story with the baby daddies
she bought cocaine instead of christmas trees

slutty always needed a few extra bucks
in between the co-op's for those cheap coco puffs
at five dollars a pop they quickly added up
these were hard times, they didn't want her suxxx

then one day she met a guy named sayeed
he knew this single mother was in desperate need
he offered her a job when he sold her some speed
he said, "we'll sell your kids to the rich families"

they worked out a deal over popeyes chicken
the kids would be sold to local politicians
she always had difficulty making decisions
sayeed told her it was a limited proposition

he told her to trust her women's intuition
to go smoke some meth and watch some television
thirty grand, minus sayeed's commission
she signed the paperwork of her own volition

a knock at the door and there stood a man
he took away her kids in an unmarked van
she counted the money in the diplomatic pouch
thirteen grand, she was going out!

she went and partied at the neighborhood pub
bought everyone drinks, she was living it up
she bought a bag of meth and some LSD
everything else she lost on VLT

she stumbled home with sayeed and tyrone
meth mouth double suck, they both got blown
then they said that they have to go
she asked sayeed for a little loan

she sat on the couch, she was all alone
looking at her kids in some old photos
she hit the pipe, huge clouds of smoke
then she died of an overdose

and it wasn't so sad
and it wasn't sad
no need to feel bad
don't feel bad

it wasn't sad
it wasn't sad
don't feel bad
don't feel bad

ok to feel glad
ok to feel glad
ok to feel glad
ok to feel glad

-----

such a sad, sad story with a happy, happy ending.
this is what you find in the wayfair cabinet.
you only need to look. have a look and see what you see.
you never know what's inside the wayfair cabinet.
dreams and nightmares and everything in between.
but enough of that, let's head on down to slut rape city and see what's going on.

Goin' Down To Slut Rape City

tyrone's going downtown to slut rape city
a gentlemen's club where the girls are stupid and pretty
but first he wants to get some killer weed
so he's heading to the safeway to meet sayeed

he spots sayeed by the liquor store
buying some booze for a twelve year old whore
he's trying to get her to join his grooming gang
and he almost got her into his mustang

they do the weed deal, now it's getting late
they go into the safeway to get potassium nitrate
they also need to get some curtain rods
and cut them into pieces to make pipebombs

blocking the aisle was some drunken natives
you could tell sayeed was getting frustrated
they reeked of fish and alcohol
they were shoplifting cans of lysol

it's getting dark, so they had to go
to slut rape city to meet marco homo
everyone thought marco was iranian
but he was born in the mediterranean

girls around marco were always vanishing
that's because he's involved with human trafficking
the gentlemen's club was a sex slave ring
where local politicians come to do their thing

sayeed told marco he looked like a queer
he asked him when he had his last pap smear
marco broke his nose with a bottle of beer
and dragged him outside to meet emir

emir was a bouncer and a sociopath
in his youth he used shears to cut his pets in half
they threw sayeed in the back of a limousine
seagulls found his body behind the dairy queen

-----

mm-mmm, dairy queen..
all the seagulls in slut rape city are fat.. but you probably knew that already.
see what happens when you go around shooting your mouth off?
ol' sayeed, he didn't know when to shut his mouth.. and you saw what happened.
not a loss but such a mess.

Lysol Whip-its

jacky was a whore from the reservation
she sucked off every guy in the entire first nation
she was just a piece of complaining meat
she had the iq of a parakeet

jacky liked to party like there's no tomorrow
with a jingledress dancer named charlie liquorbottle
charlie and jacky were very well suited
they both liked to drink photocopier fluid

sometimes they would get drunk at the smudge
that's where they met leonard deux-weasel-rubbs
leonard was métis and fetal alcohol
he begged for spare change outside the bingo hall

so together they decided to go to safeway
to pick up a 12-pack of the new lysol spray
tonight they were gonna get drunk on aqua velva
wherever they went it smelled like salmonella

lysol whip-its, shooting through the brain
first nations panty peeler, better than champagne
come and party with us at the healing lodge
where you're always guaranteed to get a toothless blowjob

come on down and party at the pow wow
we'll make some bannock and pound the xerox down
bring your jingledress and we'll do some dancing
with a flat of black ice and ac/dc blasting

leonard's getting anxious, he's way too high
he drank so much aftershave his mind has died
he has reverted to an infantile state
drooling in the corner while he defecates

glassy eye contact while they watch him masturbate
there's zero brain activity when he ejaculates
jacky didn't care, she thought it was so funny
she took off her top, she just wants to party

she shakes her breast tumors in the face of charlie
he smiles through a moustache full of insect larvae
another hit of lysol, he's getting higher
he grabs her by the throat, "you always were a liar"

he bashed her in the face with an old typewriter
with broken cheek bones she looked like richard pryor
he folded jacky and stuff her in the dryer
squirted ronsonol and set her body on fire

lysol whip-its, shooting through the brain
first nations panty peeler, better than champagne
come and party with us at the healing lodge
where you're always guaranteed to get a toothless blowjob

come on down and party at the pow wow
we'll make some bannock and pound the xerox down
bring your jingledress and we'll do some dancing
with a flat of black ice and ac/dc blasting

-----

charlie liquorbottle, now he didn't know any better.
so don't blame him for anything that happens.
some things were just meant to go that way.
and all you can do is accept it with humble grace.

ol' charlie.. he liked to go down to a pub known as the windmill.
it was located right beside the safeway.
he'd go there and sing songs on the karaoke.
he had such a great time. here's one of them now.

(frazzledrip incoming)

ol' charlie liquorbottle.. he had too much lysol that night.
he better watch himself..

A Little Sleepy Drink

dummy was a good girl
but she wasn't that smart
she liked to hang around
the gentlemen's bars

one night she saw
a mediterranean man
and dummy was in need
of a dripping pan

she wanted to approach him
but she was feeling shy
waiting for that moment
where she'd catch his eye

when he came towards her
she thought she would die
electromagnetic tingles
between her thighs

he asked her if he could
buy her a drink
it tasted kinda funny
with a chemical stink

she was feeling dizzy
threw up on her shoes
he walked her outside
for a little cruise

a little sleepy drink
she couldn't really think
she couldn't even blink
it's time to ship some pink

they sold her on the net
and put her on a jet
and she'll never forget
the wayfair cabinet

so, what are you doing back?

oh, you know..
a little of this, a little of that
relaxing on a tropical island
we seem to have it all to ourselves
just me and my special lady

fish from the water, fruits from the trees
and wonderful silence
the only sounds,
are the sounds we make together..

everybody wave
at the opened grave
she does it every night
she no longer minds

just an empty skin
put her on heroin
and she'll never forget
the wayfair cabinet

-----

dummy didn't listen either.
her daddy told her time and time again but it just didn't matter in the end.
it never does.. and now look at her.. such a shame.. such a shame.
well, anyway.. there's much more to this story.
we only need to remain silent and listen.

Truckin' Buddy MK Ultra

buddy was a truckdriver
he worked for wayfair
he drove to slut rape city
delivering cabinets there

he'd pick up the crates
from the gentlemen's club
the sound of muffled screams
always cheered him up

dropping them off
at local politicians
driving merrily along
the road to perdition

sometimes he'd park beneath the high level bridge
and hop into the trailer where he kept the fridge
he'd break out his tools and toy with the meat
and when it expired it was time to eat

at first he thought he was being hasty
then he discovered it was pretty tasty

he pulled over to the side of the road
and into the ditch he dumped the load
as he left he spoke in epithet
"don't end up in a wayfair cabinet"

-----

well, as you can see.. there is a natural cycle to everything.
and if there's one thing the wayfair cabinet has to teach us, it's that.
let's hush now and listen to what the wayfair cabinet talks about next.

Chugging The Last Bottle Of Aqua Velva

charlie liquorbottle sat on the hill
watching the truck drive away in the chill
the truckdriver left something in the ditch
it was a half-eaten stupid bitch

this was nothing new so he didn't panic
she looked like she was a heroin addict
on her back was a tattoo or maybe she'd been branded
charlie didn't want to leave empty handed

he chugged his last bottle of aqua velva
humped the body with his misshapen pelvis
if jacky caught him she'd be so jealous
he better hurry up, he was being careless

after he finished, he put her in a suitcase
a smile on his acromegaly elvis face
throwing it away would be such a waste
he put it in the dumpster by the pizza place

on her back was a tattoo or maybe she'd been branded
charlie didn't want to leave empty handed

he chugged his last bottle of aqua velva

-----

sometimes the most important lessons come from the simple folks.
and charlie liquorbottle is a testimony to that lurid reality.
we can learn a lot from a man like that.. and he don't know nothin'.
i think that would be what them city folk refer to as serendipity.

Live Luagh Love

they found another suitcase in the landfill today
had to spray chemicals to make the seagulls go away
they pulled it out and layed it on its side
it was covered in grease and crawling with flies

they opened it up and it was no surprise
just a torso cut off at the thighs
there were rat shapes crawling around inside
as they looked for markings to identify

they dumped it out onto the tarmac
someone noticed a tattoo on its lower back
they wiped away the slime with the rubber gloves
and read the misspelled words "live luagh love"

live luagh love
live luagh love
live luagh love

-----

and now it's time for the wayfair cabinet to close its doors.
there's many lessons to be learned from all those whores.
always remember and never forget.
don't end up in a wayfair cabinet.