Ninth Xanax "The Things You Learn At Bingo" (2018)
Produced by Randy Prozac
Something About The Left-Hand Path
it's morning bingo this morning
i want to get there early for the free coffee and halal dogs
everyone gets there early, but they only have so much until it's gone
i got my blue daubers today but they're running dry
but today is my birthday so they'll probably give me some new free daubers
not until the afternoon special though..
i take my usual seat at the ladies table
and they are talking about muslim grooming gangs
and how they are in every town and thousands of missing girls
and some of the girls get ground up and put into kebab and served to the public
i don't know anything about that.. but i don't think i'll be having any kebab again
the one lady was saying that the police won't do anything about it
and that some of the police are actually involved in raping the girls too
can you believe it? i didn't realize all those 'teens' and 'youths'
that the news keeps talking about were actually 30 year old muslim men
the things you learn at bingo..
her son said, all the social justice warriors protect and enable the rape gangs
and the feminists shield them from exposure by using language policing
and how they are all guilty of crimes against humanity
he said that they're all archetypes of nihilism with a fetish for maoism
they embrace marxism because deviance is their natural state
he said that there must have been a pole shift or something
because everything has been inverted
and he's tired of the endless accusations of 'racism', 'hate crime', 'white privilege'
'cultural appropriation' and all the rest of the toxic juvenile vomit
spewing from the mouths of the rainbow warriors, the emotionally incontinent
and the intellectually destitute who populate and virtue signal
from every nook and cranny in media and academia
all the ladies at the bingo table agreed with him, so i agreed too
now it's halftime at bingo, i'm going to get a halal dog and some taqiya
the woman behind the counter was wearing a shirt that said,
"i quit opiates thanks to president trump" that's nice!
the man behind me was talking about how antifa, occupy wall street
black lives matter and the #metoo movements are all communist fronts and seditionists
he had a little rainbow button on his jacket that read, "muhammad was a feminist"
and it had a little hammer and sickle icon underneath
but instead of the hammer and the sickle
it was a vaginal speculum and some primitive scalpel
that is used to cut off a clitoris
he was drinking a bottle of orange glo and enjoying himself
bingo is about to start up again so we all moved to the table
one of the ladies was saying that 'the patriarchy' isn't brainwashing
people against their natural instincts, feminism is..
i didn't know anything about that, but the halal dogs taste funny tonight..
the son of one of the ladies was talking,
he was saying that 'racism' has a new meaning
he said, "anything good for whites is racist
anything bad for whites can never be called racist,
black and muslims targeting whites with rape and
blacks exterminating whites in south africa, doesn't matter
whites deserve it, can't be racist to whites"
he said that many people today speak in an orwellian, communist, marxist language
"oppressor versus oppressed"
they have been told that whites are to blame for all the wrongs in the world
he said, "this is a mind virus"
and terms like 'xenophobia', 'white privilege', 'nazi', 'white supremacist', 'racism' and so on,
are 'whitephobic' terms aimed to disarm whites from doing what is best for white survival
he said, "if those messages were directed at anyone other than whites, there would be outrage"
but since it is directed at whites, it is considered ok..
he said the establishment supports this double-standard worldwide
i never heard anything about anything like that..
they sure don't discuss those things on coronation street
the things you learn at bingo..
the lady across from me mentioned that 'leftism' is a psychotic fantasy
that bonds people together over their mutual hatred of life itself
she said something about the left-hand path, but i couldn't understand it
her son said, "the hipster faggots who complain about the woes of capitalism
and preach about the virtues of socialism as a viable alternative
have themselves only existed in a capitalist society where they have led comfortable lives"
he said that they are naive and have no real experience of the consequences of socialism
they only have their theories about how 'if they had control,
the world would go according to plan and be good.'
he said, "those commie faggots are full of hubris and they exist in a world
where theory is just as good as practice"
they are oblivious of their own ignorance
as they continue to participate in consumer culture
he said, "not once in history has a communist state existed that did not engage in mass slaughter,
and not once in history has a communist state existed that did not starve its people
and fatten its leaders, and not once in history has a communist state existed
that gave a fuck about intersectionality."
i didn't know if that was true, but all the ladies at the bingo table agreed, so it probably is..
well, bingo has ended and i didn't win a thing,
as we were leaving, the nice lady's son said to me,
"all those idiots are surrounded by, and enjoy the benefits, institutions, and inventions
created as a result of patriarchal colonization."
i noticed he had a little button on his jacket that read,
"don't forget gg allin" but i didn't know who that was
my bus is coming so i have to go now
maybe next time will be my lucky night?
Cucked, Tucked And Completely Mind-Fucked
it's late night bingo
i couldn't wait for tomorrow
and i'm here early for the lucky jar
the ladies at the table are talking
they're talking about their grandchildren
one lady is telling us that her grandson was removed from the home
by child protective services, because he came home from school
and says that now he is a girl! imagine that...
the lady told us that it's part of the curriculum
to promote transgender identity politics to the children
and her grandson told the teacher that his mom said "no!"
now the child has been confiscated and put on hormone blockers
and he's only seven years old.. it's the law now
so i guess that's just the way it is
the school brings these weird, ugly freaks into the classroom
that's what she said.. fat hairy men wearing dresses
i never heard of such a thing..
so now they only have visitation rights
to see their grandson once every two weeks
the rest of the time, the child lives with two gay men
two gay men who work for the government
one of them has atomic pink hair
and the other one looks like anton lavey
ideological gender fascists, that's what the lady called them
communists indoctrinating our grandchildren
inverting their natural sexual engrams, whatever that is?
meanwhile, they're importing low-iq genetic defects from the third-world
mostly all-male too, i wonder why?
the ladies were saying that the third-world immigrants
aren't interested in integrating because the government protects them
and gives them free welfare and healthcare, money and housing and transportation
the lady across from me said, "i wish i was a sub-saharan, sub-human bulbhead"
and everyone laughed so i laughed too..
now i have two red daubers and bingo is about to begin
the man sitting across from me was talking
he was saying that he just bought an instant-access pistol safe
and he loves it..
he said that we need to "glass all their countries"
but i didn't know what he meant..
he said "all the men now are cucked, tucked, and completely mind-fucked"
he said that, not me.. i would never use those bad words.. not at bingo
well now it's halftime at bingo and i'm going to get some halal dogs
the woman at the counter was wearing a shirt that said,
"marxism is intellectual rabies"
and she was talking to the man in front of me
about how most people these days are soulless homunculi
that would just stand there like mannequins
if they didn't have the tv telling them what to do
he said, "that's a communist concept better suited for a rainbow concentration camp"
and everyone laughed, i don't know if i agree with that but..
those halal dogs are cooked to perfection today
and then he said, "equality always results in the weak eating the strong"
but bingo is starting up again, so everyone is returning to their seats
i gave him one of my halal dogs because it was ramadan and he was white
i've got ten bingo cards tonight and i'm feeling lucky!
the lady's son, he was there too.. he was enjoying himself
he was talking about how muhammad, the islamic warlord and predator
would be ecstatic to see his death cult being welcomed across the west
he said that allah was just a moon god and that everyone calls him a neon nazi, whatever that is
the lady he was talking to said, "if they cannot defeat the infidel in battle,
they'll move to their home countries and overpopulate them,
and once they are outnumbered, islam will dominate"
oh! bingo! bingo! i won!
twenty dollars.. that's better than nothing!
now i can go home happy..
finally i won.
Sharia Law On Coronation Street
the ladies at bingo were talking
they were talking about the news
i can't watch tv anymore
there's too many flickers
and it's full of evil
and all the commercials are mixed race
the ladies were talking about the cancer of islam
i said, "what is that?"
as i nibbled on my pulled pork
then the man started calling out the early-bird prizes
and the woman at the other table won an alexa
she plugged it in and asked, "alexa, who is muhammad?"
and alexa started talking..
"the prophet muhammad is a very wise prophet; he taught many people how to live.
he had a wife called aisha. he lived in saudi arabia.
the message that he gave to the people is: "pray to allah;
he is the only god," and he gave the holy quran."
isn't that amazing? i thought so
the ladies said, "there's no disneyland in africa."
and then they laughed..
one of the ladies said, "the african space program!"
then they started laughing some more
i didn't know what they were talking about
but everyone was so happy, so i was happy too
it's my birthday today..
so i got a complimentary daubers
one red and one blue
i'm using the blue one now
the lady next to me said, "if this was a communist country,
there wouldn't be any complimentary daubers."
and i guess she was right and it's true
then she said, "this is why capitalism is the best system"
"because you get free daubers on your birthday,
and all the black people are permanently trapped
on the plantation because of the welfare system."
then someone called "bingo!" and they won a hundred dollars
but two other ladies called "bingo" too
so they had to split the hundred dollars three-ways
then this man came up to me..
he was so skinny and looked like he was homeless
he looked right into my eyes
and his cornea's had little white spots
probably from a disease
he said to me, "hulk hogan, brother.. HH"
then he laughed and walked away
and as he walked away, he maintained eye contact the entire time
the ladies were talking about coronation street, which is my favorite show
and they said how everyone on coronation street is muslim now
and they imposed sharia law on coronation street
soon they will be having stonings and acid attacks
i didn't understand what they were talking about
but it's half-time at bingo now
and i'm going to get some more pulled pork poutine
when i was paying the woman at the counter
she was wearing a shirt that said,
"saul alinsky sucked his own cock"
young people these days..
a man behind me laughed at her shirt
he said, "he sure did! and bill ayers is a faggot who should be killed."
i didn't know if that was true
but everyone else seemed to agree, so i agreed too
the next game is about to begin
so i better hurry back to my seat
the "man" who won the alexa was playing with it again
"he" was asking it, "alexa, who was jesus christ?"
"jesus christ was a fictional character"
then "he" threw it against the wall and "he" seemed upset
because alexa seemed to be more favorable
towards the prophet muhammad
and "he" said, "islam was just some vulgar ideological excrement"
i don't know if that is true..
but this pulled pork is simply delicious tonight
maybe even the best pork ever
the lady across from me, is from france
she was talking to us about the streets of paris
and how it has become an open sewer
because of the "shitskin invaders".. shitskin invaders?
i didn't know what that was.. but it doesn't sound good
she said, "if the cancer of islam is not removed from the planet
all countries will be destroyed."
oh... he almost called my number
i was so close to the jackpot
but yes, i told her that i wasn't sure
but she seemed to know what she was talking about
so i will just take her word for it
then she said, "the destruction of the family,
religion, marriage, morals and traditions
and self-reliance makes everyone dependent on the governments
it makes people weak, confused, angry, stupid and easier to control
i think the other ladies agreed..
and i switched daubers from the blue one to the red one
the other lady was talking about somalians
she made a joke about "somali hatchet"
somali hatchet.. what is that?
i didn't understand it
but it was nice to see all the ladies having fun
and that made me feel good
her son was with her, he is probably 23 years old
a very nice young man..
he had a little button on his jacket that read
"muhammad is a butt worm"
and he was making jokes about #metoo
and how they should shut their "man-pleasers"
and that they are a hate group
i didn't have any idea what any of that was about
but the ladies did.. and they were saying that -
#metoo doesn't care about women who have been raped
it just exploits victims of sexual assault
and weaponizes their victimization
in order to attack men
that sounded exciting, like a thriller novel
or something.. something fictional
i didn't know.. i was still thinking about "somali hatchet"
and then her son said that at his school,
students are taught that if someone does well
or achieves something..
it's only because they have some sort of privilege
and that their achievement wasn't a result of their hard work
it was at the expense of some other "repressed" individual
he said he has had enough of their globo-homo beliefs
that's what he called it..
he said his professor is a skinny marxist manchurian mulatto
and that "mosque monkeys" are infesting humanity
i don't know why he even needs to be in university
he's already a very sharp young man
he should just learn a trade instead of wasting money
on studies that society doesn't need
i told him that, and he said i have the illumination from the apple-byte
but i said that i didn't even have an iphone
he said, "that's why."
and he told me to keep bringing home the bacon
he also told me that i should fill out whatever paperwork i need
in order to get some sort of firearm
he said, "even a .22 pistol or a single-shot .12 gauge
will put me light years ahead, in terms of lethality,
than saheem and his brick of peace
i didn't know who saheem was..
but i smiled and told him, "i will"
he also told me to go watch nahoul abusing cats
and then he left.. such a nice boy..
i have such fun at bingo, everyone is wonderful here
well.. i didn't win anything tonight
i guess i'll go home and try my luck again tomorrow.